I invite you to explore your own power as a leader both to yourself and others. Self-full leadership is about connecting with what is going on in you as well as what is going on in others.
Close your eyes and think of a time when you were in a meeting that was going south, or as we say in Australia – going pear-shaped. This might be a meeting at work, a family gathering, a club your belong to. What was going on? What were you feeling? What did you want to see happen? What do you wish you had done? I invite you to write about this for a minute.
The first step to leading from within is to shift to a greater sense of being, rather than doing or saying the right thing.
Be your message.
Once long ago, when asked by a reporter if he had a message he wanted the world to hear, Ghandi replied, "My life is my message."
Our "presence" is far richer and truer
than what we say in words.
Who we are speaks louder, and often influences others more profoundly, than what we say. Our deepest, thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, and aspirations come through as an unspoken wave of information that others pick up at a level often below their conscious awareness. This material influences others more powerfully than mere words. So in a sense, you are your material, and your life is your message!
What is your message, or your bigger vision? What you say is not nearly as powerful as how you say it and who shows up to say it. So get clear about your motivation and your message before you intervene as a leader or as a participant.
The inner game of Leadership
Now for the doing. Here are some tips to help you facilitate your "inner game" of leadership. A simple acronym we call "FACT" will help recall these actions in real time.
F: Focus - get a clear focus by establishing a positive intent. It's important to find an intention that is both for your own good and for the greater good of the entire group. Then when you do intervene, you do so from a place of compassion and support for everyone, including yourself.
A: Attitude - think about how you want to say what you have to say. To come from a positive attitude, it may help to first internally acknowledge any emotion you have arising in the moment. You may fear the impact speaking out might have on your job if this is a work group. You may fear an emotional reaction from family or friends. You might simply fear the appearance of looking stupid. You may be angry about what's going on. Simply naming and acknowledging these emotions inside and accepting that they are natural and OK will help to diffuse them so that you can use their energy for your next action.
C: Context and Content - with whom do you intervene? At times it may be appropriate to address the whole group; at other times, an individual. Which approach is likely to achieve the best outcome and minimize negative reactions? Consider what you plan to say (content) so that it comes out clear and concise.
T: Timing - where in the meeting should you intervene? Certainly you want to be diplomatic and not interrupt anyone if at all possible.
This may largely be a matter of trusting your intuition by simply asking yourself, "is this the right time to speak?" Don't let your concern over timing stop you, however, if you have strong feelings that something needs to be said. This is particularly true if it appears that time is simply being wasted.
Your Homework:
What are your messages in your internal game of leadership? What leadership role do you have for yourself? How can you be present to yourself and present to others. Spend a few minutes to craft and write down a clear and simple sentence that says it all. Revisit it to refine it and make it more powerful over time.
How do you 'feel' when you know this message is in alignment with your values? How do you feel when what you do is not in alignment with your values? Make a list of the different emotions and feeling associate with being alignment vs. just responding from habit.
What action step is possible for you in order for your process to go to the next level?
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